Wanderer Above the Mists

Moss: DARINN
Tim: Leon Fain
Effie: Tan Xiaosou
Stoyan: Evelin Pavrost
Alex: Dr. Reggie Sins
Daniel: Ferrous; and
Kenneth: GM

2022-01-22

You are only a speck to me. Every speck is tracked, but you are still a speck.
Xiaosou to Leon

We have lots of food, but we will not give any of it to you.
Leon

Captive 'Nott'? Is Adoss Nott returning, imprisoned?
Effie

I'll protect supplies, but I draw the line at personnel.
Ferrous

Do any of them have lips? Because, if they don't, then there's no way they've invented the trombone.
Xiaosou

He wants to see your medical facilities. He wants to know if you have any organs of value.
Kezewe, translating pirates
I have a bad feeling about this.
Dr. Reg

Week two of our interstellar journey: biological warfare.
Leon

Everyone onboard has had their appendix removed; surely we can cook up something with that.
Dr. Reg

They really opened my eyes to the possibilities of flesh instrumentation.
Ferrous

I would be surprised if you had encountered life on that planet that you needed to prove sponsorship, so I assume there is another reason for this call.
Kezewe
I hang up.
Effie

2022-01-29

I'm sorry, I'm converting one of the cargo bays into a concert hall.
Leon

You're the neighborhood watch member writing down every license plate you see through the blinds.
Kenneth
I'm lifting the blinds, so that they can see me watching them!
Evelin

I start growing a fetus in one of my internal sample trays.
DARINN

Tell me about this Earth. Is it a real place or just an intergalactic fan convention?
Stoyan

He points to your equipment.
Kenneth
Which 'equipment'? This is Team Sex we're talking about.
Moss

You weigh depressurization against what this would do for the future of humanity.
Kenneth

This sort of a device is known as a 'Softlight Stage'.
Kezewe
It smears vaseline on the lens.
Daniel

I never thought a lobster would be the one buttering me up.
Dr. Reg

2022-02-5

We think this sort of thing is properly measured in lifetimes.
Kell Yebula
I hope your kind has a short lifespan.
Xiaosou

If your attitude on the ship has shown anything, it is that you have provided no improper assistance at all.
Leon

Same shit, different asshole.
DARINN/Moss

If your morality systems are in the way, can you turn them off?
Leon to DARINN

The Culture department will run interference to help steal the fuel.
Leon
This is not a party situation. We cannot solve this with a party.
Xiaosou

I dispatch the guard.
Moss
Just slowly rolling over the guy to hold him down as the rest of us steal shit.
Effie

We usually don't get shown good shit by this guy.
Xiaosou re: Kezewe

They're going to think, 'There's no way they stopped at that planet while they're on the run. What kind of idiots are they?'
Leon

The surveying bot proves somewhat useful.
Kenneth
I have a name!
Moss

Every single alien we have met has been like 'You are dumb as fuck, no drip, your ride sucks, give me your organs'!
Effie

Wanderer Above the Mists? Maybe you should try Wandering Above some bitches some time.
Effie

Wet supremacy.
Moss

Smack barm brain wet.
Moss

Kezewe hasn't heard of them.
Kenneth
Oh, they'd hate him.
Tim

2022-02-12

Evelin is not a child. We don't need to entertain Evelin.
Xiaosou

All hail the wet supremacists.
Alex
Praise the waves.
Stoyan

If your enemy is secure at all points, be prepared for him. If he is in superior strength, evade him.
Ansel
What?
Xiaosou

I'm bringing my gun, and that's a serious comment. I'm bringing a gun. As a doctor.
Dr. Reg

I beat up the child and take its mask. [...] First contact with these hands!
Xiaosou

I'm trying to think of a better term than 'cave settlement'...
Kenneth
Subterranean arcologies.
Stoyan, instantaneously

Put one on DARINN. That'd be funny.
Xiaosou

B is for fucking...
multiple people simultaneously

Is there a playhouse nearby?
Leon, wearing a D
Of course! It's right over there.
alien shopkeep
D is the mask for if you want to be lied to!
Effie

Interesting, we see the excess of it as well. Wonderous!
Stoyan

Do you want to put on a D and look for an F?
Kenneth

We need to bring the wet dudes here.
Moss

2022-02-19

Have we moved beyond resolving disputes with violence?
Alex
In general as a species, or me?
Leon

How many watt-hours you got in you?
Dr. Reg
Bless you.
DARINN

We're Team Fuck. We got to talk about farming.
Alex
You're Team Beans.
Tim
Team Beans and Team Machines.
Effie

Nice one, Kenneth. And out of character, too.
Moss
DARINN turns to a random crewman and says, 'Nice one, Kenneth.'
Tim
No, DARINN's aware of him.
Moss

I'm in favor of deleting everything that would make them go to war, and this captain's log.
Leon
Me, too.
DARINN
I disagree.
Xiaosou
You're outnumbered.
DARINN

I disagree with your ethics but I wanna fuck.
Dr. Reg

I set up a welcome celebration.
Leon
Somber!
Xiaosou
It's incredibly ostentatious.
Leon

From the perspective of a warrior...
Dr. Reg
You're a doctor! Are you taking out your gun?
Tim

Maybe Kezewe will-
Effie
...scratch their eyes out.
Tim

2022-03-5

Diversify your shootings.
Tim

Everyone jump up and down, mess up the reverberation!
Effie

I'll gladly relinquish power once it's no longer needed.
Leon

'We are 'Wanderer Above the Mists'.' And then I delay to seem like I'm translating.
Leon

We're burning parts of our own planet to get here faster.
Leon

McTuvix.
Alex

Ah, in our version of the game, we strike the ball with the rod.
Leon
Perverse!
Station Commander Huny

If we can take a bunch of testimonials and put them on Space TikTok, we can do this.
Dr. Reg

It's an accessibility feature.
Alex, re: gay options being patched into a game

Fallout 4. That's a game-
Alex
That's a game!
Kenneth
How do I see my own tweets?
Tim

Give 'em gills!
DARINN

2022-03-12

When playing galaxyball, it is essential to remember what rimward and spinward mean.
Effie

Give us one second while we tell the hideaways where to go.
Ansel

Officially, we're dubbing this 'Freedom Week'.
Leon

Day four: the Fourth of July. Day five: Cinco de Mayo.
Kenneth
Day six: ...Halloween. Sexy Halloween. No, Sexy Halloween is day seven.
Stoyan

Our organ printers aren't finished yet.
Leon
They're only for manufacturing breast implants, or ass implants.
Evelin

Can I pick him up?
Xiaosou
He has a gun.
Kenneth
What if I grab him under his arms and he's like...
Xiaosou, flailing

You guys just witnessed apparent telekinesis.
Kenneth
That's impressive. How did you do that?
Evelin

You guys can't do this? I thought you were just restraining your power.
Ansel

It's like a grape rolling under the fridge and trying to stick your hand under there and find it.
Ansel, regarding tracking someone in space

But you didn't touch him with your hand, did you?
Xiaosou
...not technically.
Ansel

Are you having all your needs attended to?
Evelin to Ansel

We mostly used surprise tactics, though we did use a bit of violence.
Leon
That was a surprise to us, too.
Xiaosou
That's a great defense. 'Your honor, I'm surprised I was capable of such a thing.'
Kenneth

2022-03-26

After so many years, you take the macaroni tray and throw it into the air. 'Be free, bacteria!'
Alex

Our pilot is gone! Our telekinetic is gone!
Evelin
Vow of silence, motherfucker! Sssh!
Xiaosou
I have no idea what's going on, so nothing has been spoiled.
Dr. Reg

Do you know what flattening is?
Dr. Reg
Tell me more!
Evelin
I need two large pieces of plexiglass.
Dr. Reg

I'm bennying it up!
Dr. Reg
You succeeded!
Kenneth
I'M BENNYING IT UP!
Dr. Reg

Mummy robots!
Kenneth
Holy shit--Savage Worlds.
Effie

Let's sleep here one night to see if we have psychic dreams of an ancient war, just in case.
Evelin

Think of it this way: this is a structure on microgravity. It cannot cave in on us. We're safe!
Evelin

They're killbots sealed away in these helltubes. [...] The fractures weren't something breaking it from outside, but them breaking out from inside!
Xiaosou

I'm hopped up on discovery! But lack of a fruit cup is a discovery I don't want to see.
Evelin

/roll 72
Leon

2022-04-30

Triplocock
Tim

Greeting, Triplokon! We are humans!
Leon
You do not need to raise your voice.
Dominus Ko-Nine

We broke them.
Xiaosou

2022-05-21

Toddlers are not provisions, Tim!
Effie

Space isn't what I was hoping it would be...
Evelin, very sad (Stoyan laughing hysterically)

2022-05-28

Rum-Tum Tuggery Rock Lobsters
Tim, on the Noss'tak'tik'rel

I'm bringin my gun. That's my catchphrase.
Dr. Reg

I thought you called Dr. Reg 'Medical Knowledge'.
Moss
Dr. 'Medical' 'Knowledge'
Kenneth
Reggie 'Medical' Sins
Effie

I know more about your anaMossy than you do!
Dr. Reg to Brince captain

Brincecels
Kenneth

We're going to go to whatever's an appropriate venue to discuss how we're going to burn this bitch down.
Leon
Not the colony!
Xiasou

I don't know how to operate through fur!
Dr. Medical Knowledge
That's the first thing: you shave that shit!
Dr. Reg

The first thing I'm going to teach you is that everything can kill anyone.
Dr. Reg

'This is what you've got to do to survive out here!' and it's, like, penicillin.
Effie

What is this nerd shit?
Leon, before going into a sick trombone solo

2022-06-11

How do you approach medically training 1-2 dozen Brince?
Kenneth
I want to get them hands on as soon as possible.
Dr. Reg
He injures anyone who gets close so that they have someone to practice on.
Effie

That's one of the most common ailments. They call it shitflap failure.
Leon

We were vapin' too much.
Alex, relating why Earth will have become a gas giant

DARINN, can you sample the atmosphere?
Dr. Reg
I can open a sample container and then close it.
DARINN

2022-06-16

Kenneth is the kind of narrator who will let you know someone is evil by having them casually step on a puppy.
Alex
What if the puppy was evil?
Kenneth

Jereje and Georgie--these are different in your language?
Jereje
Yes, one is hilarious, and we won't tell you which.
Xiaosou
Noooooo! What must I trade to learn!?
Jereje

As a trader, memory of figures and details is a necessary skill.
Jereje
Do you have it?
DARINN

They went rimward and spinward.
Jereje
I slide him some spacebucks to tell us the normal direction.
Xiaosou

What message are you going to put in the beacon?
Kenneth
I got a winner...
Dr. Reg
No dickpics, Reg!
Leon

It should be Freedom Week all over again!
Leon, upon meeting Impundulu

They do have the deep-down space crazies.
Leon
The only cure for space crazies is a swingin' time!
Xiaosou

Print them those things birds have...
Xiaosou
Hollow bones?
Kenneth
Gizzards?
Moss
Feathers?
Kenneth

Wait until you see what we did to their slugs...
Leon
What!? These are snails!
Kenneth, as hapless Impundulu crewmember

2022-08-6

Anyone else got any better ideas, or are we just going to go in and ask for a tow?
Leon
I'm not into feet.
DARINN

The 1920s were big in the 2220s.
Leon
I'm glad I didn't grow up on the Moon.
DARINN

2022-08-27

I'm sucking off the sauce.
May

Am I allowed to leave the ship now?
Ansel
Yes, we've decided you're allowed to leave the ship.
Leon
You hear the sound of leather peeling off skin as he gets out of his seat.
Roger

The only time we've seen more than one species on a ship, it was pirates.
Xiaosou
What about our ship?
Evelin
Our ship is cool, though.
Xiaosou

And this is Ansel, our pilot, slash ensign, slash young-lad-about-town.
Leon

No, Ansel! You're my boy-about-town! How could you do this to me!?
Leon

It might be obvious at this point that Ansel isn't contributing to this conversation because he is no longer there.
Roger

Goat...click. Ant...click. Ansel...click. Wait a second...you threw off my count!
Xiaosou

There's not much use for me when others are talking.
Ansel

You shouldn't be going off on your own assessing the damage on their ship. That's a job for technicians. Your job is to pilot.
Xiaosou
While we're here, our job is to help these people.
Ansel
Yo, shut the fuck up, you stupid kid!
Xiaosou

Ansel, sometimes doing bad shit is awesome.
Dr. Reg

I don't care if they are among you, or among them, but you are among us.
Dr. Reg

Whoa, that's interesting.
Dr. Reg witnessing miracle healing

We'll let the nurse seal him up. Who's my next patient? (suddenly drops from Discord)
-- Dr. Reg

You are allowed on the Alien Council but you are not granted the rank of Alien.
Roger

The Galactic Order provides you with those above and those beneath.
Xanch'bek'tet'yut'tet'yut
Hot.
Evelin

Are we even equipped for births?
Leon
I spend most of my time pulling things out of people; it's nice when it comes out of them on its own.
Dr. Reg

'A Sensitive human might yet exist,' says Cevic, not looking at anyone in particular.
Kenneth
Evelin looks directly at Ansel.
Stoyan